Why are you emailing me?

[The following quotes are from email messages I have received just in the past week. My thoughts reside within the square brackets.]

I’ll be honest [You mean you lie at all other times? Do you really need to announce your honesty?]

Humbly asking… [Really? You’re running for the US Senate. Are you really that humble?]

WHAT?!? [Your surprise at a new poll suggests that your advisors had misled you or just did not know what was going on. Time for a new team?]

I am proud to announce… [New spending on party political infrastructure for Congress? Now? Didn’t Howard Dean propose a “50-state strategy” back in 2005? Everyone who was a toddler that year can vote in 2022, and we are just getting around to investing in political party infrastructure?]

Last chance… [Really? You won’t bother me again in the future? Oh, please, please, please, make it so!]

(bad news) Friend, I’ve only got a few minutes…. [So, why are you wasting them taking up my time?]

Instant poll…. [Do you really need my views on something? Anything? Especially when I take the “poll” and get hit immediately with a donation request.]

A quick 🎵 note … I need to reach out personally … Sent from my iPhone. [Huh. Just to me? How sweet. You even sent it from your phone. An Apple too.]

Team (fill in the blank) [This one from a candidate for governor in a state I don’t live in and I’ve never lived in. You just want me to fuel your negative response ads.]

This can’t wait. [Hmm. We are eight months away from the next election. Your clock and calendar must be set on future time.]

Why we’ve been sounding the alarm. [OK, this makes a bit of sense because it’s focused on voter recruitment. but I had to get three paragraphs in to see that.]

🛑 Trump from running 🛑. [Stop sign emojis?]

We live an age of nagging. It’s a new fact of life. We usually set up our filters to screen most of these out. We spend precious minutes of life hitting the delete key to those that get through — minutes we will never have again. We “unsubscribe” that usually just encourages them because they now have our valid email address.

It is a form of emotional entropy that gnaws at us several times a day. And these are causes I want to believe in and support! Mostly, however, I want to be left alone, especially when I’ve already set up my automatic contributions. Listen, folks, I already gave. Go away now.

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