Kobayashi Maru is Real

While I was waiting on MyChart’s EHR to refresh so I could complete a questionnaire, I was able to drink a cup of hot coffee, go downstairs and feed the dog, and write this essay.

You see, MyChart’s EHR was made by Epic and is hosted by DUH. Yes, that’s correct, Duke University Health. It can slow to a crawl and then roll into a ditch to die. The little line under the URL stopped growing just past the .ORG part of the address. It’s sitting still there while I watch it not move. Both the line and I are motionless as we view each other in the gulf between the screen and the back of my chair.

So, you ask, is this important? In the grand scheme of things, probably not. There are worse things that could befall us, but this one is about pain. Yes, real pain in my right arm. The whole questionnaire is to confirm information and gather new information before a scheduled appointment for therapy. Now, on top of the physical pain in my arm, I get the psychic and emotional pain of watching a BILLION-DOLLAR website grinding to a halt.

Okay, to continue. I finally just took a chance and refreshed the webpage. It worked and provided me with at least 8 more pages of questions and categorical answers to try to understand where it hurt and how much that limited me. These included questions about my emotional state — a challenge to answer since by this time I’m pretty upset about the damn technology. But I soldiered on and finished the questions.

Then I hit “Submit” and got this:

Internal Server Error 500

‘Nuff said.



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David Potenziani

David Potenziani

Historian, informatician, novelist, and grandfather. Part-time curmugdeon.